My new cover story for WE.
Randy and Evi Quaid: The new odd coupleLast October, actor Randy Quaid (Saturday Night Live, Kingpin) and his wife, Evi, arrived in Vancouver and promptly became the ringmasters of their very own media circus. After months of making headlines for a variety of offences in the USA — a dash ’n dine here, an unpaid hotel bill there — the pair fled California and made it across the border, seeking, at the time, refugee status right here. Yes, refugee status. The Quaids claimed they feared being killed as part of a Hollywood death conspiracy of “star whackers” that had already felled other celebrities, including Heath Ledger (who died of an accidental drug overdose) and Chris Penn (who died of a heart attack).
Since earlier this year, the Quaids have lived amongst us relatively quietly in an undisclosed location. They have dropped the refugee claim and are now seeking permanent resident status for Randy, who would be sponsored by Evi thanks to her Canadian citizenship. And now they’re quite literally bringing Hollywood north. In March, Randy debuted his music onstage at the Commodore and this Friday marks the debut of the Quaids' new, work-in-progress documentary/feature film Star Whackers — part of a double bill with Randy’s 2009 Canadian feature, Real Time. WE spoke with the notorious duo via email about their love affair, the film, and rumours that Randy will open for Charlie Sheen’s Vancouver show next month. (Ed’s note: In a mutual agreement, WE is printing the interview unchanged from the email transcription. It has been edited only for spelling.)
How did you two meet?
We met on a movie fell in love within 24 hours. AND THAT WAS 22 YEARS AGO
What was your first date like?
Chinese food and GREAT sex
Evi, what do you love most about Randy?
I love Randy’s talent and range. As a man he is tough and his talent is humongous. Love is not a strong enough word for my respect loyalty and admiration I have for my husband. I am his wife and he is my life, my man, and my master of ceremonies.
And, Randy, please answer the same questions about Evi.
Evi is Love. When I think of Evi I think of Love, I feel Love and I feel Loved. Evi’s Love is like a thousand prisms refracting all colors, all colors of Love exploding like a kaleidoscope of Roman candles within my soul. Love is expressed in many ways, but Evi is all Love and all expression of Love. She has no guile or deceit; her honesty can sometimes be brutal, but always she is truthful, as an artist, as a friend, as a spouse, as a Lover, she is the foundation of my universe.
Evi, please tell us a bit about your background. Have you always been a filmmaker?
My father worked for the RCMP and the FBI. I did not know this until I found out I was a Canadian. He is also a painter. I have, according to him, always been a visual artist. He has my drawings in a secret location and I have his paintings in a secret location.
What is Star Whackers about?
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People have made a lot of jokes about the two of you. Do you care?
YES. The Internet is a terror tool for the hunting of celebrities — entrapping and stalking and smearing. It’s beyond cruel. It’s frightening, horrifying and should be illegal. It’s only for corruption and I fear for my life every day when I see what people write and the way criminals use the Internet to terrorize and entrap their victims. I fear for others: not only famous but targeted by people who use the Internet as a terror tool.
Do you understand why some people might not believe you?
YES. UNEDUCATED UNINTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE CRUEL
What do you have to say to those who are making fun of you and your situation?
It’s very painful that people have no empathy for others who are suffering just because they think it’s a joke when it’s not. I met some of the best people in the world who are refugees and I finally felt understood I ASKED AN INDIAN WOMAN WITH NO HAND IF IN HER COUNTRY’S WEALTHY PEOPLE HAD THEIR HOMES AND FORTUNES STOLEN AND THEN HAD PEOPLE TRY AND KILL THEM. SHE SAID ‘YES,’ THEN SHOWED ME HER MISSING HAND WHICH SHE HAD HIDDEN IN HER SHIRT. IT WAS BLOWN OFF IN A BOMB AND SHE SMILED AT ME AND I KNEW SHE BELIEVED ME WHEN SHE SHOWED ME HER PAIN. SHE HAD LEFT HER FAMILY BECAUSE SHE WAS SO FRIGHTENED OF THE CONDITION SHE LIVED IN. SHE HAD EMPATHY FOR ME AS I HAVE FOR HER.
WE CAME HERE TO GET RANDY’S VANCOUVER CRITICS AWARD FOR REAL TIME AND THEN later LOOK FOR A NEW HOME.
Randy, what do you feel has been your greatest professional achievement?
MY PERFORMANCE IN REAL TIME AND MY new SONG WRITING
Randy, do you feel Hollywood has turned its back on you?
Hollywood has no Back and if it does it’s my back because I have been working in Hollywood longer than 99% of all Hollywoodians. It’s a misconception that Hollywood is other than the people who work IN IT. WE ALL STRUGGLE TO REMAIN RELEVANT WITH OUR WORK. AND ITS IMPORTANT NOT TO TURN YOUR OWN BACK ON YOUR OWN MUSE.
What’s the music like that you’ve been writing?
True rockabilly stories
How did your show at the Commodore go?
GREAT!! GREAT!! SOUND GREAT LIGHTING GREAT PEOPLE GREAT BAND. JOHN, BRUCE, MARK AND RICH ARE GREAT. THE TOWN PANTS WERE VERY GENEROUS AND FUN. WE LOVE THEIR MANAGER ALSO.
Why should people come out and see this show at the Rio?
YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS IT, TRUST ME. REAL TIME IS A GREAT FILM WITH A GREAT CANADIAN DIRECTOR AND RANDY AND I WILL GIVE THE REST OUR ALL, LIKE WE DID AT THE COMMODORE. And the RIO IS A GREAT ART HOUSE!!!
What’s your day-to-day life like right now?
We love Canada. Our life is wonderful, we have a great team of lawyers who have become like family AND CARE ABOUT US.
What’s your plan if your permanent residency claim is granted?
TO LIVE IN THIS GREAT NATION AND GIVE BACK IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE AND LOVE OUR DOJI DOG!!!
Randy, could you tell me a little bit about the news that you’re in talks to open for Charlie Sheen when he comes to Vancouver next month?
Someone from Live Nation had a conversation with Brian Watson about the idea of me doing it. It’s a good idea. I like Charlie and am happy to be supportive of his plight. If asked by him, [I’d say] “I am here for you Charlie, I understand what few others do!!” People should watch Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder to really understand what this nightmare is so they can send help. Movie Star 101, from Randy Quaid: Tom Cruise’s performance in Tropic Thunder, the Star Whackers performance I gave and Charlie’s tour should be required viewing for all actors who aspire to be Movie Stars.
An Evening with the Quaids, which will feature screenings of Star Whackers and Real Time, takes place Friday, Apr. 22 at the Rio (1660 E. Broadway), 7pm. Tickets $20-$25 from BrownPaperTickets.com. More information:RioTheatre.ca.